Get A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps: The Classic Guide PDF

Addiction Recovery

By Patrick J Carnes Ph.D

This workbook presents a special set of based varieties and workouts to assist getting better humans combine the Twelve Steps into all features in their lives.

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Additional resources for A Gentle Path Through the Twelve Steps: The Classic Guide for All People in the Process of Recovery

Example text

Faith, hope, the love of others almost gone, I began coming out of my darkness. I read voraciously and looked for encouragement everywhere. " I had to die to the old and the familiar, the illusions of my conditioning. And there were times I longed to be unconscious again, asleep. This trip I was on felt too difficult and lonely. I learned that once a person begins seeing life in Technicolor, it's impossible to view it in black and white again. There is no turning back unless we are willing to live a lie.

If we got no response, an inadequate response, or a negative one, we had no choice but to figure out another way to be taken care of. When we don't get the response we need in our quest for love, we do the second best and form addictive attachments. However, even addictive love is useful as a temporary way of relating while we are learning to love ourselves, to trust ourselves, to work through the fears Page 18 that keep us from reaching out in direct ways, and while developing tools for healthy love.

Most struggle with the same dilemma. Is dependency always bad? No, not at all. To understand relationships as a living process, it is important to identify three kinds of lovers in each of us: addictive, healthy, and spiritual. The Addictive Lover Addictive love refers to taking care of other people at our emotional expense. It is a manipulative way to create dependence even when it is not needed. We deny parts of ourselves to keep people who meet our needs around. Addictive love is unhealthy because it is based on fear, control, illusions, and because it limits our growth.

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