Shelby Smoak's Bleeder : a memoir PDF


By Shelby Smoak

"'Bleeder' is the awfully compelling story of writer Shelby Smoak. A hemophiliac, Smoak chanced on he were contaminated with HIV in the course of a blood transfusion firstly of his collage occupation. This devastating and destabilizing information led Smoak to work out his international from a completely new standpoint, one during which life-threatening affliction used to be ceaselessly simply round the corner."--From writer description.

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He stammers. “Ana? ” “Yes. ” “Wow. Okay. ” His eyes roll around in thought. “You two are . ” He hesitates, tilts his head. “You know . . ” “Wow. I mean damn. I don’t know what to say. What should I say? Is there anything to say? Hell, I don’t even know how to act. This is really fucked up, you know. ” He looks to me. His eyes grow large with excitement and are bright and earnest in the fluorescent light. “You got fucked,” he vociferates loudly. “You know that? I think I’d be in someone’s face or something.

We 35 Shelby Smoak don’t speak of last night, but I can’t loosen it from my mind. I’m restless and need to confess. Yet I don’t know what to say, for HIV does not enter our conversation. She leans against me and tells me she is happy. ” she asks. ” We drive into winter. The trees are bare and the meadows we pass are humped with the heaviness of rolled hay, and the geese file over us as we pass the withered barnlots of a past life. Ana stretches out her tender hand, and I grip it as I steer to nowhere in particular.

The other you’re gonna have to leave. ” I’m thinking about classes and homework and the fatigue of driving there and back again, but really what choice do I have? This is important. This is real life. “Okay. I’ll do it. ” “I reckon not and I’m sorry for it, Son. Awful sorry. But these things happen. Hope you understand. There’s just no way for us to pay this thing outright. It’s too much goddamn money. ” I hang up and return to the pharmacy window and hand over the Visa for the AZT which, once accepted, I slip into my backpack, leaving the factor.

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