New PDF release: Loving Me, Loving You: Balancing Love and Power in a

Addiction Recovery

By Brenda Schaeffer

It is a uncomplicated consultant to making extra loving relationships. full of reasons and actions, Loving Me, Loving You indicates us how one can remodel our lives and our surroundings for the higher. those adjustments include an figuring out of love, strength, and transformation the connection among love and spirituality continual sharing at domestic and on the planet to profit extra approximately fit relationships, stopover at Brenda Schaeffer. (

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Additional resources for Loving Me, Loving You: Balancing Love and Power in a Codependent World

Sample text

Faith, hope, the love of others almost gone, I began coming out of my darkness. I read voraciously and looked for encouragement everywhere. " I had to die to the old and the familiar, the illusions of my conditioning. And there were times I longed to be unconscious again, asleep. This trip I was on felt too difficult and lonely. I learned that once a person begins seeing life in Technicolor, it's impossible to view it in black and white again. There is no turning back unless we are willing to live a lie.

If we got no response, an inadequate response, or a negative one, we had no choice but to figure out another way to be taken care of. When we don't get the response we need in our quest for love, we do the second best and form addictive attachments. However, even addictive love is useful as a temporary way of relating while we are learning to love ourselves, to trust ourselves, to work through the fears Page 18 that keep us from reaching out in direct ways, and while developing tools for healthy love.

Most struggle with the same dilemma. Is dependency always bad? No, not at all. To understand relationships as a living process, it is important to identify three kinds of lovers in each of us: addictive, healthy, and spiritual. The Addictive Lover Addictive love refers to taking care of other people at our emotional expense. It is a manipulative way to create dependence even when it is not needed. We deny parts of ourselves to keep people who meet our needs around. Addictive love is unhealthy because it is based on fear, control, illusions, and because it limits our growth.

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