More, Now, Again: A Memoir of Addiction - download pdf or read online
By Elizabeth Wurtzel
I overwhelm up my tablets and giggle them like airborne dirt and dust. they're my sugar. they're the beauty within the days that experience none. They drip via me like tupelo honey. Then they're long past. Then i want extra. I consistently want extra. For all of my existence i've got wanted extra. A precocious literary mild, Elizabeth Wurtzel released her groundbreaking memoir of melancholy, Prozac kingdom, on the gentle age of twenty-six. a global luck, a cultural phenomenon, the booklet opened doorways to a rarefied international approximately which Elizabeth had purely dared to dream in the course of her middle-class upbringing in ny urban. yet no luck may possibly staunch her non-stop conflict with melancholy. The bad fact was once that not anything had replaced the vacancy within Elizabeth. Her relationships universally failed; she was once fired from each journal activity she held. certainly, the absence of success within the wake of good fortune turned another likely insurmountable hurdle. whilst her general practitioner prescribed Ritalin to spice up the results of her antidepression drugs, Elizabeth jumped. And the Ritalin labored. And labored. And labored. inside of weeks, she was once grinding up the drugs and snorting them for a better impression. It reached the purpose the place she could not cross greater than 5 mins with out a repair. It used to be Ritalin, after which cocaine, after which extra Ritalin. In a harrowing account, Elizabeth Wurtzel contemplates what it skill to be in love with anything on your blood that takes over your physique, turns into the existence strength inside you -- and will finally kill you. extra, Now, back is an miraculous and well timed tale of a brand new form of dependancy. however it is usually a narrative of survival. Elizabeth Wurtzel hits all-time low, will get fresh, makes use of back, and eventually profits keep an eye on over her drug and her existence. As sincere as a confession and as heartfelt as a prayer, extra, Now, back recounts a brave struggle again to a lifestyles worthy residing.
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Extra resources for More, Now, Again: A Memoir of Addiction
This apartment comes furnished. I have a Murphy bed and a kitchen table, and one of those desks that is part of the same wall unit as the bed. I have local phone service and an answering machine. I don’t have a calling card so I can’t return long distance calls, which is why I don’t. The entrance is off a catwalk. Down the hall are two call girls, and next door on the other side are two gay flight attendants who work for a charter airline used by hockey teams. Downstairs is a paralegal with a cat who isn’t very friendly.
I do arm presses and leg curls, I develop beautiful muscles, I do this every night without exception. Sometimes I’ll turn on the sauna before I start my workout, and I’ll go sit in it for a few minutes afterward. My heart races. Once I’m done with my physical fitness routine, I go back upstairs and watch TV, or sometimes I write. Did I mention that I have started writing? It has been completely splendid. Instead of just sitting around and reading books about Jean Harris and Amy Fisher and Bess Myerson, I am now actually taking my research and getting started on my book.
I try. And then after a few days, I give up on trying. I take a whole pill every couple of hours. I figure that means I am taking eight a day instead of four, which isn’t great, but how bad could it be? Plenty of people are on much more than forty milligrams of Ritalin a day, and even the eighty that I have upped it to is not too bad. There are six-year-olds who are given Ritalin for attention deficit hyperac-tivity disorder (ADHD), and some of them take more than a hundred milligrams a day. If a kid in first grade can handle it, why shouldn’t I be able to?